Liberal Frontbencher - 19 to 20 August

THURSDAY 19/08/10

Early morning

Wake up. Try to recall motivation to enter politics. Go back to sleep.

Morning

Meeting. Abbott wants to campaign for 36 hours straight.

Express strong objection to "no-sleeping strategy". Ask if we really want to win votes of people awake at 2am. Abbott believes 2am-6am voters could swing balance.

Minchin loves idea. Thinks 36 hour marathon will highlight that Abbott can stop boats any time, any place.

Abbott Press Secretary (APS) worried at impact of chronic exhaustion. Too much "real action" could lead to real emergency of "real Abbott".

Tell story of how I went without sleep for thirty six hours when I last flew to London. Needed flight attendants help to unlock toilet door.

Abbott will sleep in car between events. Abbott says Thatcher only needed 4 hours per night - plans to channel iron spirit.

Minchin informs Abbott that Thatcher is still alive. Abbott elated by good news.

Need to fill up hip flask.

10:00am

In Brisbane.

Teenager approaches me and Minchin in campaign headquarters. Salutes us and declares "Stop the boats. End the Waste". Describes himself as corporal in Abbott's army. Ask teenager to get me coffee. Teenager says he is Wyatt Roy, candidate for Longman, and his campaign manager/mum said candidates don't have to get coffee.

Minchin holds finger to lips and makes quiet noise at Roy. Tells Roy if he gets sandwiches and coffees we might let him listen to our conversation.

Roy leaves.

10:30pm

Horrific day. Hate Abbott. Hate voters. Hate shaking hands. Hate smiling. In Sydney, I think.

11:00pm

In car. Abbott is resting legs on my legs while doing sit ups.

FRIDAY 20/08/10

12:15am

At Police station.

Abbott excited - being policeman was childhood dream. Closely behind being PM, and being first Archbishop of Sydney to win middle-weight boxing title.

Talk to journalist from The Australian. Journalist asks if I have drink. Share hip flask. Journalist says this is inhuman.

2:00am

Street walk in Kings Cross. Abbott in police uniform. APS reminds Abbott not to intervene in any conflicts. Abbott asks if he can carry gun. APS says Abbott absolutely not to carry gun.

Talk to drunk voter, really angry at Liberal's pro-bouncer policy. Accuses me of looking at him funny. Give drunk voter sip of hip flask. Voter promises to only vote for Liberals. Wish I'd hit on this technique earlier.

3:00am

Wyatt Roy calls. Says he just got punched by angry voter. Ask how he met voter. Says he was door knocking. Tell Roy if he's going to door knock at 3 AM he really needs to pick his doors carefully and carry hip flask to mollify enraged constituents.

4:00am

Abbott does 8th radio interview today/yesterday/tomorrow? Several garden related queries.

Abbott admits he's not a petunia head.

5:00am

Am in building. Think it's a radio station. Don't care. Nap on someone's desk.

30 minutes later

Wake up with post it note stuck to face.

Have been left behind.

So happy.

This entry originally published at BigPond News as part of their Federal Election 2010 coverage.